A Self-Forged Path
by battlingbard
Summary: First shot at writing in a long time.. Post-Fin
1. Chapter 1

She couldn't believe it. After all of this time, after all these years, things still turn out bad for her. She had saved so many lives, done so much good. The both of them had. But yet, she couldn't save the one life that had mattered most to her. Xena's. It's been three months since that fateful day in Japa, and Xena has been showing up less and less.

"I think the longer it has been, the harder it's getting for me to come back to you." She had said, about a week ago.

That was the last time she's heard from her, not the longest she's been without showing up but this time feels different. She doesn't feel her as strongly anymore. Gabrielle knows she is losing her, and with each day that passes it's getting harder and harder for her to cope. She hasn't been without Xena for many years now. By now she can't even remember what life was like before she had met her and decided to follow her around. She doesn't want to. Her life had no meaning before she had found Xena, she was her light.

Now life seemed pointless, she doesn't know what to do without the blue eyed beauty by her side. She's been making her way to Egypt like she said she would, now the lone girl with a chakram. Suddenly she feels a breeze brush by her fingertips and can smell leather.

"Xena" Gabrielle sighed, turning around. Standing in front of her is the ghostly vision of her soul mate. "I was... worried I wouldn't see you again for a while."

Xena gave her a slightly smile, taking her hand into hers and walking alongside her. "Me too. But I'm here now."

"Yeah, you are." She let out a breath that she seemed to have been holding since the last time she'd seen the warrior princess, "For how long?"

"I don't think I can manage more than a few minutes." She held Gabrielle's hand a bit tighter, "I need to tell you something." Stopping them she pulled the bard to face her, whom gave Xena a worried look.

"If… If it's about you not being able to come back to me again I don't think I can handle it." She put her head down, not being able to look at Xena without tearing up, "I can't do it. I know I should be strong and proud of you for doing this, for saving all of those souls but I can't. I can't make myself pretend that I'm ok with it. I can't pretend that I'm happy with it. I want to be incredibly selfish, but I know I can't. It's just, it isn't fair." She said, not being able to contain her tears any longer she fell into Xena's arms. "After all of this time, you would think that you wouldn't still be having to redeem yourself, that you wouldn't have to be suffering still."

Xena pulled her close to her, cradling her in her arms and tearing up as well. "I know. Gabrielle I know this isn't fair and I'm sorry. I had to do it though, I wouldn't have been able to live with myself knowing that I was the cause of that."

Gabrielle pulled back slightly, her eyes puffy and red. Sniffling she said, "It was the right thing to do. I just… How will I live without you Xena? I don't know how to. You are my_ everything._" Her voice broke on the last word.

"You are strong. The strongest person I know, and you'll always have me with you. I'll always be here. You're my heart Gabrielle." She brushed a tear off of Gabrielle's cheek and gave her a lopsided smile. "I'll love you until the end of time, we are soulmates after all, right?"

Gabrielle chucked and put on a watery smile, "Of course." She stood on her tiptoes and gave the warrior a brief kiss on the lips. "You're the best thing that's ever happened to me."

"And you're the best thing that's ever happened to me." Leaning down she kissed Gabrielle on the lips one last time and then was gone.

Gabrielle opened her eyes when she didn't feel the warmth of Xena's lips on hers. She couldn't accept that this was it, that this was the end for the two of them in this lifetime. She slumped to the ground on her knees, sobbing. In that moment she decided that she would find a way to get Xena back, vowing to herself that she would figure it out.

* * *

**To be continued?**


	2. Chapter 2

When someone says that they're soul is lost forever it doesn't mean what most may think. Where does one go when they're soul is lost? What do they do?

Xena has lost track of how long she has been sitting by the edge of the dark body of water. She had been trying for days now it seemed to get back to Gabrielle, but nothing she tried worked.

In reality, time where she is at never passes. Everything stays the same and nothing ever seems to happen. It seems as if it is just another realm of the world she had once lived in, but different at the same time. Everything is dark and colorless, there is no sun rise or sun set and no matter how much she travels through this odd world, she hasn't ran into another living thing. No longer does she get hungry or have any need for the functions she used to have. She can still feel though.

It seems almost as if that is the only thing that you do in this world. Feel. All Xena can do is feel anymore, and think.

She thought that things would turn out differently for her and her bard. Very differently. She had always pictured them growing old together, maybe having a couple of more kids. Now all of that is ruined, shattered. All due to the fact that Xena couldn't outlive her past.

That always happened to them. Something always would come up, Xena's past always came back to haunt her somehow and this time she paid the ultimate price. She's stuck forever in this realm, no longer having her bard by her side. No, this was her fate.

But, have the two of them ever really accepted their fates before? More often than not they had found ways around it, survived it somehow. They always found their way back to each other. This time though… This time seemed more real than all the others, more permanent. She couldn't shake that feeling. This is it for them, Xena felt it and she felt the most helpless she had ever felt.

Most of the time now she just sits and concentrates, trying to find her way back to those emerald eyes. It had worked quite a few times but here lately it hasn't. The last time she had saw Gabrielle felt so final. Like they were really saying goodbye for good. How is Gabrielle handling it? Will she be alright? There wasn't a thought that went through Xena's head that didn't include the small blonde. But, that's how it had been for years now, hasn't it? Constantly thinking about her, in almost every context imaginable.

A big part of Xena was just relieved that Gabrielle knew how she felt, and that they had lived for many years together. There was a time, way back in the beginning, where she didn't think she would get that chance. Now she had had it. Gabrielle knew everything, and yet Xena felt as though she had not been able to say it enough. _I love you._ Those three words, uttered from her lips every chance she could get, but still she can't help but feel it wasn't enough. When you love someone that much, that fully and truly, well, there are never enough times you could say it. Of this Xena knows to be true.

Surely this wasn't final though, it couldn't be. They're Xena and Gabrielle after all. That's what they practically do for a leaving, beat the fates. Xena thought to herself. _We had always found ways around it, always. _But how in the world would she get herself out of this predicament? There's nothing here, at all. _Even if I were to get out of this somehow, what would happen to all those souls? I couldn't just let them be lost forever. _

"There is always a way." Said a voice out of nowhere. "You have done great honors warrior, and because of that you have great karma."

Xena jumped up, looking around. "Harukata? How are you here?" She asked, her brow creased in confusion. "This is a place for lost souls." She said sadly.

Harukata smiled upon the warrior. "You have redeemed yourself on more than one occasion, and finally paid the ultimate price. There is a way out though, a way to go back to your life. The road will be long and treacherous, but you have proven time and time again how strong your soul is."

The brunette couldn't believe it. "What about the souls? What will happen to them?"

"They are saved, and now that you have been in the afterlife for as long as you have, it is final. They will never be lost again thanks to you."

"But how is that possible?"

"The universe… It has odd ways of working." The old man said, then brightened slightly. "These odd ways have caused a loophole of some sorts. You will be able to go back to your life after this journey."

"What must I do?"


End file.
